New Year, Same Me

Everyone who really knows me knows that I LOVE a good New Year Resolution. I’m always getting excited about potential and possibility, and a New Year seems like a great excuse to return to a thorny situation and see if a renewed effort can bring me some progress. This year is no different, except that the thorny problem to which I am returning is on a different wave-length. In prior years, I’ve returned to all the things I want to be different:

  • Making more money in my practice
  • Being more consistent with my posting
  • Eating more vegetables
  • Being more patient with my kids

This year, though, I want to be happy with what is.

I’m me, and that’s enough.

My business is enough. My parenting skills are enough. My impact is ENOUGH. What would be possible for me if I really believed those things? That’s what I’m going to find out this year.

New Year, Same Me*.

But with more compassion, more appreciation, more gratitude and a slower pace.

I’ve been asking myself: What would I do if I had nothing to prove? Here’s what I’ve come up with:

  • I would run my business with a clear strategy and ease. I would bring the desire to “SUCCEED!” and “GROW!” and “BE A THOUGHT LEADER” way down and return to the basics of coaching and helping. I know what works to build and grow a coaching and therapy practice, and a year focused on what I do best sounds reallllly relaxing. And I believe that with that kind of ease and confidence, my business revenue will double.
  • I would draw more and write on my blog and putter around with things I find interesting… no drama or expectations of “ROI.” I have a tendency (surprise!) to make things very serious. If I’m going to do it at all, I need to do it well! I think if I believed that I already have enough skill and knowledge and expertise, I would allow myself to have fun doing what I enjoy.
  • I would haven my life. Havening is a therapeutic modality that I learned about from one of my clients and it means “to put things in a safe place.” It’s been resonating with me a lot: I want all the parts of my life to feel safely havened. My relationship with my husband, my finances, my health, and my business. In the past few weeks, I’ve been looking at those areas with an eye towards “what can I do to shore that up? How can I make it stronger? And how can I free myself up to make time to do those things?

I can already see a difference. I’ve let go of BIG THINGS that were feeling heavy and out of integrity with who I am and what I want. I’ve decluttered 3 rooms in my house so far (9 BAGS OF TRASH!) and I’ve turned off the expectations around BIGGER, FASTER, MORE -MORE – MORE and spent much of the last few weeks playing Mario Kart with my 7 and 9 year old kids, talking my husband about Dirk Gently, and drawing in a new sketch book I bought myself.

I feel better- the autoimmune stuff seems to have calmed. My thoughts are less intense. My family is happy. I’m happy.

Can you feel it? 2020 is going to be a great year.

How about you? What are you looking to haven in 2020?

About the Author Amanda

Amanda Crowell, PhD is a cognitive psychologist obsessed with how people make change. She is best known for translating cutting edge research into practical strategies that can be used right away.

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