how do you see that

How Can You See That?

“That dress is BLUE!” – 50% of people before the internet imploded

On February 15, 2015 something terrible happened. Half of the world’s population spontaneously decided that the other half of the world’s population had categorically lost its mind.

“Do you believe that she thinks that dress is gold and white? HA HA!” You said to a room of people you trust… but only some of them were nodding. Some of your very own friends, family and close-knit work crew were looking at you like you had somehow lost YOUR mind!

Brother against brother! Cubenate against cubemate!

It took the internet almost 3 full minutes to recognize that a perceptual battle royale was underway and turn it into a viral phenomenon bestowed with the internet’s biggest honor: people said it “broke the internet.”

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reality is an illusion

Reality Is An Illusion

Things are not what they seem.

Though our survival depends upon our fellow humans perceiving the same reality as our own, the very assumptions of a consensus reality are:

reality is an illusion

Every aspect of the world in which we live, every* objectively true fact upon which we build our lives is, in fact, constructed. Everything is first perceived by your senses, then interpreted by your brain.

Perceived by your senses

Look at this!

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feeling fine

I’m Fine. Are You Fine? We’re Fine.

Captains log. Day 35 in Quarantine. Things are fine.

This week was Spring Beak for the kids. It was supposed to be spring break for me, too, and we were going to do lots of fun things… but my end of year calendar got “recalibrated.” It’s fine.

We have figured out how to split the day so that it’s irritating for all of us, but doesn’t impede anyone’s ability to not get fired. So that’s fine, too.

We’ve taken to eating the same six “kid approved” things every day. Somehow I’ve still said “Eat your breakfast/lunch/dinner” at least 100 times yesterday… and for the past 34 days… which means I’ve said it 3500 times since we came inside. But we aren’t hungry and the supply chain is strong so we aren’t likely to be… so that’s fine.

It’s all fine.

No, really, it’s truly fine. Fine, fine, fine.

Two things to watch out for as we enter “The Grind”

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how to stay motivated and not give up

It Works Even When You Are Bad at It

A few years ago I did a half marathon for the first (and last) time. I did it with friends and we would meet on Saturdays and do the “long run” together. In between we were charged with the “short” runs, stretching and strength training that the internet said we needed to do in order to prepare our bodies for the eventual 2.5 hour run (I’m what you would call a tortoise, not a hare) on race day.

The problem was… I didn’t really feel like it. I wasn’t feeling very motivated. Week after week I would show up at the long run having done one short run in between and a few of those weeks I hadn’t actually done ANY runs in between. And yet… somehow, even with terrible execution and a ton of novice mistakes I did prepare for and run a half marathon.

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escape from stress

Escape

There are times when you are walking down the road of life, whistling your tune, thinking your whatever thoughts and then… snagged! A vine of worry sneaks out from the forest and wraps it’s thin fingers around your foot.  It whispers your name creepily. And you feel yourself suddenly, and without any real reason, caught up in the emotional field of worry. Nothing has changed except that maybe you’re tired? Maybe you ate too much sugar? Who knows why? It almost doesn’t matter.

This happens to me almost once a day. Sometimes it grabs me just a little and I’m able to shake it off easily, and probably once a week it grabs me big time and I have to launch a counter-attack to get myself free.

Here are my tools for escape, I hope they are useful to you!

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I agree with me

We Don’t Have to Agree About Me

In my 40s (I’m 42, thanks for asking) I woke up to a story I was telling myself that was causing me a lot of drama.The mindset goes something like this “We need to agree about me.” Or, loosely translated, “You need to believe about me what I believe about me, or I’m not going to be able to believe about me what I want to believe about me.”

Here are a few everyday examples.

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the story of your life

The Stories of Our Lives

There are times in our lives when we barely notice the contours and choices of our lives; they pass around us so smoothly that we think we’ve figured it out. We start to say things like “Well, that’s life” and encourage each other to “accept what is.” We nod along with government policies that codify and regulate “what is,” we take out loans, adopt animals, have children, schedule our lives, buy products, and negotiate our relationship boundaries with the sure knowledge that life “is what it is.”

And there are times in our lives when we simply cannot believe what is happening around us. Everything feels new and unimaginable; sometimes in a good way, sometimes in a bad way, and sometimes in a way that simply feels new.

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blogging on a daily basis

Six Lessons from ^Almost! Daily Blogging: A behind the scenes look

Today marks three full weeks of The ^Almost Daily Catalyst! Seth Godin has been encouraging me (and, you know, the other 4M people who follow him) for 2 years to blog every day, but it always felt like such a big ask.

I started as more of a blogger than a coach, then the coaching took off and the blogging dwindled to maaayyyybbeeee once a month. And yet, the call of regular writing was always running along in the background like an excitable little dog.

“Bark! Bark, bark!” he says! (That’s dog for “Hey! We could write a blog about that! And this! And that! We totally have enough to write every day! Let’s do it! It will be SO. FUN.”)

Unfortunately, those thoughts were being “managed” by these super “helpful” thoughts:

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constant worry

The Power of “What If”

Oh, worry, my old friend. If there were worry olympics, I coulda been a contender. I am GREAT at worry. A natural!

And worry LOVES company! As long as I was worrying, I’d always have someone to talk to. But, my conversations would be exhausting, and my life would be joyless.

We certainly have the option to feeling anxious or concerned right now- If we wanted to, we could worry ourselves sick about the state of the world: the handling of the crisis, the mental health of our friends and families stuck at home with only the black hole of the internet to occupy them, and the danger experienced by our heroes in scrubs.

Worry is is a verb that means to be consumed by the anticipation of negative emotion.

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creating opportunity

Three Things That Just Aren’t True

It’s been a heck of a week and I’m glad for a few days off. What are you going to do this weekend? Nothing? ME TOO!

And, honestly, I’m ready for it.

I, like you, am doing my best to show up for the people I care about. I want to get it right but some times I get it all wrong… like the time I yelled at my daughter because she wanted to hug me when I wanted to read my book.* I want to be empathetic and honest and grounded and peaceful but sometime I’m pissed and sarcastic and anything but peaceful. And I want to write the very best, most beautiful words in a row for you guys on my ^Almost Daily Catalyst, but I’m always missing the typos, using the wrong their/there/they’re, and getting my punctuation wrong.

The world wants us to hold ourselves to a standard of absolute perfection, and keep ourselves small UNTIL we figure that out.

But of course, that’s some bullshit.

You don’t have to be perfect to be valuable.

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