How to Build A Connection With Yourself with Tessa Alburn | UYGW047

Join Tessa Lynn Alburn and Amanda as they discuss:

  • How to savor the present to create resilience
  • How to build a connection with yourself through intention
  • How groundedness improves relationships

Resources:

http://www.tessafreegift.com/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/tessaalburn

http://tessalynnealburn.com/

Come to our event on January 17th:

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/474101469257

Summary:

It will come as no surprise to any of you when I say that “resilience” is something that is built over time. In business, and in life, we can get caught in moments of “ugh” and “err” which causes us to lose the high frequency of energy we need to achieve resilience. In these moments, we need only summon the healing power and wisdom of Tess Alburn, a business and life coach who describes her Great Work as “midwifing” where she helps talented woman entrepreneurs get into their greatest ripple effect. Tess understands that it can take a lot of time, energy, and effort to find your life’s greatest calling, but it shouldn’t come at the price of sacrificing your internal joy. As we enter the holidays, Tess reminds us to focus on the gift of joy and hone in on creating it intentionally in the tenuous times. Because without the ups and downs, our energy is free and available for us to connect with our Great Work not only physically, but also emotionally and spiritually until our resilience has been built upon a foundation of pure joy.

About the Guest:

Tessa is a business and life coach for women. Utilizing nearing two decades of experience as a trainer and facilitator of live and virtual events, Tessa helps women entrepreneurs get over the six-figure mark in their business, by creating a plan that works for them and rewriting the mindset issues that have kept them playing small.

Her passion for life, culture and SCUBA adventures have taken her both abroad and to 38 US States. She’s fun, intuitive and compassionate!

About the Host:

Dr. Amanda Crowell is a cognitive psychologist, speaker, podcaster, author of Great Work, and the creator of the Great Work Journals. Amanda’s TEDx talk: Three Reasons You Aren’t Doing What You Say You Will Do has received more than a million views and has been featured on TED’s Ideas blog and TED Shorts. Her ideas have also been featured on NPR, Al Jazeera, The Wall Street Journal, Quartz, and Thrive Global. Amanda lives in New Jersey with her husband, two adorable kids, and a remarkable newfiepoo named Ruthie. She spends her days educating future teachers, coaching accidental entrepreneurs, and speaking about how to make progress on Great Work to colleges and corporate teams. To book Dr. Crowell to speak or inquire about coaching, check out amandacrowell.com or email amanda@amandacrowell.com.

Website: amandacrowell.com

Book: https://www.amazon.com/Great-Work-Amanda-J-Crowell/dp/1737374196

Podcast: amandacrowell.com/podcast

IG: https://www.instagram.com/aj_crowell

Linked In: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-amanda-crowell-51188130/

About Podapalooza

All of these resilience episodes were recorded during Podapalooza, an event that brings together podcast hosts and podcast guests to record episodes on the spot!

Learn more at https://podapalooza.com/

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Transcript
Dr. Amanda Crowell:

Welcome, everybody to unleashing your great work on this special 10 episode series, we are focused on resilience. What is it? How do we get it? And if we've lost it, how do we get it back? So listen in, because we know that great work is so much more dependent on your resilience than it is on your hustle.

Dr. Amanda Crowell:

Welcome, everybody to unleashing your great work on this special holiday episode, I'm really excited to have Tessa Lynn Alburn. She is a business and life coach for women. Utilizing two decades of experience as a trainer and a facilitator of live and virtual events. Tessa helps women entrepreneurs get over that six figure mark in their business by creating a plan that works for them, and then rewiring the mindset issues that have kept them playing small. Welcome to the podcast. Tessa.

Tessa Alburn:

Thank you so much, Amanda, it's my pleasure to be here.

Dr. Amanda Crowell:

Yeah, why it's my pleasure to have you. So I would love to start where this podcast always does, we'd love to hear a little bit about your great work.

Tessa Alburn:

My great work is what I consider midwifing talented women entrepreneurs into their greatest ripple effect. Who, right, so they can really create the change that they want to see in the world. You know, they come with us. They the people that I work with have that's calling, it's pure and simple. They know they must do it. And often, their calling was a little reverse. They're like, I know, I have to have my business, I know I have to have my voice in the world. And then when they begin, they start they actually realize that their purpose is even greater than that. And it really is about changing the world. But from their essence from their authentic self, their true soul, and they're going to leave a legacy when they do that.

Dr. Amanda Crowell:

Yes,

Tessa Alburn:

this idea of legacy, I think we get it really confused. You know, like, I'm gonna leave this, that and the other and I'm gonna have a book and I'm gonna have this and that. It's not about the specifics, I believe truly it is that legacy of energy that's going to continue to flow that's going to inspire some the next generation, let's say, or maybe not even that far off, right? Like I can inspire somebody who's two years younger than me, or a year or five years, right? And then it just goes and goes and they they wake up and there's like an activation, I believe that happens.

Dr. Amanda Crowell:

Right? Like humans are neurons that spark each other and travels the world. Yeah, I'd love that.

Tessa Alburn:

Exactly. And you probably know that, and I don't know the scientific words for this. And so it's just not my area. That's messed up. But there's a matching of energy, right? Like, one of my clients was working in the Alexander Technique, which is all about the body and freeing the body from the tensions. And when they're working with someone, what is happening is because they're in their body, the the freed up way, in my words, then the client is reading that sympathetic nervous system and the parasympathetic, and they're queuing up to that as well.

Dr. Amanda Crowell:

Right? They're able to relax. Yes, yes. Right. All those mirror neurons. Yeah, I love that. Well, the way you talk about your clients work is exactly the way I talk about great work, which is the work that matters the most to you. It's the work that comes out of your unique point of view, your unique perspective, your unique point of consciousness, that is done in relationship with others so that it can be you know, grown in community, that leaves a legacy behind you, that sort of is your body of work, and helps you feel alive, that view grow as a person. So it sounds to me that you are midwifing great work for your clients. Thank you. We just came full circle, we're done. We can just go now. I love it. So what is it about this work that called to you helping these women, you know, really come into their own power?

Tessa Alburn:

You know, I had thought I was a healer many years ago right to because that was a big part of my journey. Like just getting sore. I could be in my true self. I didn't really even know what that was. And then I just kept finding myself saying, Oh, wow, I if I step through my fear if I have courage, if I'm vulnerable, and I don't know What's gonna happen? And I think that's actually what Brene Brown says, the definition is you don't, you can't control the outcome or even know what it's going to be. As I kept doing that, I just kept getting more and more of my guidance, my highest self. Right? My spirit was talking to me and st take that next step, you can do it, you know. And eventually, I was met with in the what I would say in the external world, you know, in circumstances, at work, and in here and there and all over with resistance, like the world was saying, No, don't go there. Right? Don't

Dr. Amanda Crowell:

go, this isn't the door for you.

Tessa Alburn:

Exactly. So I had to look for that opportunity to say, well, what is the opportunity here? And then I realized, oh, and I just had this, I could feel it in my heart. It was like, I want to come forth, I want to do something, I want to really do this. And then before I knew what I was thinking thoughts, like, I can change the world. I was pretty sure started with I want to, but

Dr. Amanda Crowell:

what if I could write Yes,

Tessa Alburn:

like, even if I, that I, I was probably yes, I was mostly thinking, I'll just be honest about it. I was mostly thinking I can help like five people. And yeah, I can help a person at a time. Like, I was very afraid to go outside that even though I had helped more than that already. I was still within my comfort zone to a certain extent. But then when I just kept leaning in, I was just being shown you can go over here. Oh, look at this. So I was really learning to pay attention to the signs of the support that was there from the universe. And then boom, it was like, wow, okay, in order for me to do this, and to steer my own ship, you know, not we're never alone. Well, I mean, I was steering it along with source, of course. Yeah, of course. I had to also close some doors. Yeah, I had to say no to some things. So I could then focus on what I was here to do. And I just knew it. You know, there's no question about it. I just knew it and my heart and my soul. It's that knowing that was what helped me get through some of the really tenuous times in the beginning, it takes

Dr. Amanda Crowell:

a lot of courage, even when you know it, even when you feel it in your bones, to say, I'm listening to this, as part of me is what's going to guide me it takes a lot of courage. And I have to assume that, you know, you mentioned there were some tenuous times in the beginning. And I'm certain that there have been tenuous times since and so in response to those tenuous times, it's easy to become a little bit depleted. And one of the things that we talk about a lot on this podcast is that this kind of work, great work, the kind of work that we help people do you and I is the kind of work that's utterly dependent on resilience, the ability to bounce back to find your joy, again, to be innovative and creative, instead of rote, and predictable to to bring our greatest self, our highest self, you know, even to just receive source requires some resilience. Right? Absolutely. And sometimes we lose it. So on this, this, these particular episodes are focused on it's the holidays. We have a minute, we never have a minute, but today, right now we do or we might, what can we do with that time to really have like high octane recharging? You know, Joy infusion during this time, what can we do? What do you recommend?

Tessa Alburn:

i Let's see, I probably have at least two things I can recommend here. Love it. The first is not to get into the story about all the holiday triggers. Yep. Right family that you might be disgruntled with, or the pressures or the over giving? Uh huh. Right, and then forgetting to take care of yourself. Because if we're not managing us, if we're not getting enough me time, we need to know what our souls success formula is. Yeah. Right. Like, oh, I do need to do those morning meditations. Even if I'm going to be in mom's house. Or my daughters are coming or my grandkids are showing up whatever it is. We need certain things that are going to help us stay connected to ourselves emotionally, spiritually and physically. Yeah, absolutely. As well as mentally right. So but the mental the mental, wants to get triggered pretty easily. So just really managing that, right. Yeah. Does that make sense? Yeah,

Dr. Amanda Crowell:

that's a great recommend. nation, right? Because it is so easy. Even if you don't have necessarily the thing that you would be worried about with your family, the story everyone is telling or a version of a story that you can hear a lot. Not everyone's telling it is like, oh, yeah, it's gonna be nice, but you know, Oh,

Tessa Alburn:

yes. Always the but yeah, but I've got to travel. Yeah. So I heard Oh, I'm not gonna get to do this on my business, whatever it is, so or my partner has to go over here.

Dr. Amanda Crowell:

Yeah. And you have the option to disconnect from that.

Tessa Alburn:

Yes. And because in those moments, where it's like, sugar, I like to say, you're losing energy, you're losing a high vibration, high frequency energy. And that's what gives you resilience. And resilience is also built over time. So start practicing now. Yeah, and I love what you said a little while ago about joy, right? Focusing on joy. I think there's a real gift in that if we even if things are hairier, you suddenly you're like mixing families, whatever it is through the holidays, or you're like, oh, my gosh, I'm behind on my launch for January 2. To to really hone in on creating joy.

Dr. Amanda Crowell:

Intentionally, intentionally.

Tessa Alburn:

Thats right. So having a practice that lets you do that, that gets you there that gets you into joy. And if you can't do it for yourself for some reason, then get some other support. Turn on your favorite podcast.

Dr. Amanda Crowell:

Listen to unleashing your great work. Yes,

Tessa Alburn:

that's right. And you know, we so we can have some structures in place that help us. But giving oneself that time to center into your soul into your heart, and focusing on the joy of maybe even who you are the joy that you're here to create the joy that you know, you are meant for. Even just so I'm saying focusing on one's purpose can bring someone into a state of joy.

Dr. Amanda Crowell:

That's a great point. And that can all be done from the comfort of your own mind while you're at the airport. Right? You can be mad that you're delayed. Or you can say to yourself, I'm just going to do an inventory of joyful things. Just focusing your attention in your own mind on things, five things I love about myself. I'm so glad that I have good hair. I'm so glad that my husband loves me. I'm so glad that my daughter likes my jokes and laughs at them, like whatever those things are can even in the comfort of your own mind in a moment that other people would be stressed by. I love that.

Tessa Alburn:

Yes. And if I may just take that just a tiny step further do it. Which as soon as it's in the mind, don't let it go. Once you've set it to yourself. Hold on to it and feel the goodness of it. Yes, yeah. Right when you get into the feeling.

Dr. Amanda Crowell:

Oh, savoring.

Tessa Alburn:

Exactly I love that word. Yeah, to the savoring of your relationship with your daughter or the savoring of your your recent air

Dr. Amanda Crowell:

ride. Tell yourself the story. Feel the feelings. Remember the joke laugh again? Yeah,

Tessa Alburn:

yes, absolutely. And I think there's one other thing that's coming to the forefront of my mind right now as we're sharing this, which is what I'm doing naturally organically, which is to smile.

Dr. Amanda Crowell:

Yeah. Yeah. Right. And literally change

Tessa Alburn:

our physiology with a smile. Yeah. And being aware of that. Yeah, it without all those ups and downs. Our energies floats, it soars. It's available when we want it. And then we can respond rather than being like down and a goalie somewhere energetic goalie, and me to go, Oh, I

Dr. Amanda Crowell:

gotta get back off the climb your claw your way out. So it feels well, this was a great conversation. And I bet I'm not the only one who's like, oh, I guess I hope I get to talk to her again. So how could people who are kinda like Wow, she's pretty great. How can they learn more about you?

Tessa Alburn:

I would love if people just made it simple for themselves and just went to Tessa, free gift.com

Dr. Amanda Crowell:

Tessa so free gift.com Okay, and we'll put that in the show notes.

Tessa Alburn:

Fantastic. Yeah, that's a great way to get a hold of me. People can write me there or get my free gift for was, and if they're resonating, we can have a conversation and take it further.

Dr. Amanda Crowell:

Love it. Well, I feel like any free gift you're gonna give is going to be one given from the heart. So I want to thank you so very much encourage everyone to go get it. And thank you very much for being on the podcast. I really, really appreciate your time.

Tessa Alburn:

Thank you, Amanda and thank you for all your good work on your great work.

Dr. Amanda Crowell:

Thank you and happy holidays to everyone.

Tessa Alburn:

Oh Happy Holidays.


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