Join Amanda to explore:
- Why people struggle with new year resolutions
- How to set resolutions that are grounded in the absolute fact that we are good enough exactly as we are
- Three questions to help you discover what would help you create deeper meaning and purpose.
Have you noticed that some people really dislike New Year’s resolutions? I used to find this very perplexing, but I think I’ve figured it out. When we look at our resolutions as opportunities to create deeper meaning and purpose in our lives, our resistance can melt away.
Grab the guide to answer these questions for yourself!
Click here to get your own copy of Amanda’s book, Great Work.
Come to our event on January 17th: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/474101469257
Melissa’s Membership page: Mindlove.com/premium
Anita’s Hyperactive Imagination Podcast: https://www.hyperactiveimagination.com
About The Host:
Dr. Amanda Crowell is a cognitive psychologist, speaker, author and coach changing our perspective on the world of work. It IS possible to do Great Work– launch a successful business, make a scientific discovery, raise a tight-knit family, or manage a global remote team– without sacrificing your health, happiness, and relationships.
Amanda is the Author of the book, Great Work: Do What Matters Most Without Sacrificing Everything Else, and the creator of the Great Work Journals. Amanda’s TEDx talk has received more than a million views and has been featured on TED’s Ideas blog and Ted Shorts. Her ideas have also been featured on NPR, Al Jazeera, The Wall Street Journal, Quartz, and Thrive Global.
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Welcome to unleashing your great work, a podcast about doing the work that matters the most to you. I'm your host, Dr. Amanda Crowell, a cognitive psychologist, coach, author of the book, great work and the creator of the great work journals. Every week on this podcast, we're here asking the big questions. What is your great work? How do you find it? And why does it matter whether we do it? What does it actually take to do more of your great work without sacrificing everything else? And how does the world change when more people are doing more of the work that matters the most to them? Stay tuned for answers to these questions, and so much more.Dr. Amanda Crowell:
Welcome, everybody to unleashing your great work. I'm your host, Dr. Amanda Crowell. Today on the podcast. I'm pondering New Year's resolutions. I have noticed maybe you have to in the last five years or so. There's a group of people who just rebel against New Year's resolutions, refusing to set them and rallying people to reject them out of hand. And I used to really wonder why people would rally against an entirely optional self imposed goal setting endeavor. But I think I finally figured it out. I think it has something to do with the foundational motivation that is driving us to set those resolutions. For the people that are railing against New Year's resolution, it seems that the motivation they're rejecting is an extrinsic one. And that is one way to think about goals. The idea here is that there is objective perfection. out there. There is an archetype of beauty, productivity, resilience, strength, connectedness and coolness. This iconic life, this perfect manifestation of humanity. This is what we should all be comparing ourselves to. Maybe you call it the Instagrammable light for the heroic life or maybe the billionaire lifestyle. Most insidiously, we can think of it as the life that once we finally attain it, we can relax. Yeah, we're bittered and battered, and overstretched and stressed out but we are thin, productive, rich, and well known. Now we can finally rest secure in the knowledge that we are good enough. And listen, if this was how I thought about New Year's resolutions, I would reject them too. This is no way to live. Self improvement becomes toxic, when it's in pursuit of any kind of perfection, because perfection is an impossibility. Full stop. Good. enoughness, on the other hand, is yours already. You were born good enough, you will die good enough. And every minute in between, you're good enough. Even in your worst moment, that kernel of pure human worthiness is still there, calling you to a greater alignment with your already existent enoughness. So if I'm so vehemently on Team Good Enough already, then how can I be such a fan of New Year's resolutions? That's a good question. The answer is that I don't make resolutions so I can be good enough or even better than I am. I'm making resolutions to create greater meaning and purpose in my life, through my great work. I want to feel as alive as possible, I want to do as many cool things as I can. During this short life. I want to know the most amazing people, I want to see the most amazing places. And I want to leave this plane of existence richer than I found it. When I do these things, I feel a deep, resonant meaning in my life, pursuing these goals, creates deeper purpose. And that makes me feel even better. Great work is not about striving towards perfection. It's about striving towards the work we are meant to do. It's a desire to develop into someone who can do what we've always wanted to do. And it's entirely premised on the deep enoughness inside of you already. There is a story in you a perspective that the world needs, that pre existing enoughness is the very premise of your great work. total acceptance of that enoughness is what will make the space for you to seek more without worrying that who you currently are is the problem. And self development is the solution. Know who you are is great, who you are becoming as great. And if we set these goals, it's because we want a fuller expression of that greatness. When you think about your New Year's resolutions, do they get you closer to that? If they don't, I would like to invite you to revise them. We're going to start thinking about that today on the podcast and in a few weeks, we have the opportunity to do it together. There's a link in the show notes for unleashing your great work 2023, which is an online event, it's on January 17, at noon, Eastern to help you figure out what your great work is, and how to get closer to that great work in 2023. The cost of admission is just one copy of my book. So go on over there and register. For now, though, I'm going to share three questions that you can ponder, to consider the nature of your great work. Thinking these through might help you identify a resolution that would feel amazing to pursue. And because it's utterly grounded in your enoughness, and your worthiness, the very pursuit of it long before you achieve it will create that deep and fulfilling sense of meaning and purpose that you're seeking. Now, it sometimes helps to do this kind of brainstorming in a written format. So I've provided a little workbook for you to download if you like, if you want to snag it, the link is in the show notes. Okay, the first question is, what makes you feel most alive? This question cuts right to the quick a bit. Everyone has a time when they feel fully human fully emotionally available and fully alive. For some people, it's when they're hiking, or knee deep in the mud in their garden. For others, it could be when they're totally transported by a great novel or a movie. Maybe it's when you're speaking to a large group, or when you're utterly alone, writing, maybe it's when you're in the presence of art. For me, I feel really alive and inspired when I'm watching performance art. Broadway shows Symphony Orchestra has really great movies, magic shows Cirque du Solei. All of those things, I know that I want to do more of that I want to go to more shows. And I have this little sneaky desire to get to know more of those artists. So to pursue that I'm setting a new year resolution to book more of these kinds of artists on my podcast this year. What comes to mind for you? When do you feel most alive? Consider these things. And if it brings up a possible resolution, just take note. Oh, okay, the next question is, what part of you needs an outlet that isn't there. So let's extend that thinking about feeling alive into something that you know you want, but it just simply isn't available to you. Yet. It might be a feeling that you want to feel more often, like freedom or connection or exhilaration, or it could be an activity that you enjoy doing, but never get around to like drawing or exploring or traveling. Finally, it might be something that is an extension of what you already do. But it pulls you into a direction or a space that would make you even happier. That last one is the one that resonates with me. One thing I know from my great work is that I love it when other people are inspired to finally break through their blocks and pursue their great work. It's the premise of this podcast, as you know, and it's why I love coaching and teaching and speaking. As I pondered my resolutions for this year, I realized that I wanted an outlet to provide support to more people at a lower investment than my one on one coaching. Because I have a really limited capacity for coaching. And I realized that a lot of people don't need intense one on one support every week. For almost everybody, it would be hugely meaningful to have just in time support that can redirect re inspire, and re energize them as they navigate the flow of their great work. For this reason, I'm starting my great work community in February. It's a membership community with a weekly live gathering on Zoom and a monthly featured course that can support your great work. I'll be sharing the details of the great work community at the event on January 17. So I hope you can join us. So now consider what comes up for you. If you need to just pause the podcast and take some notes.Dr. Amanda Crowell:
Okay, so the final question, what causes you to feel envious of other people when they get the chance to do something? Honestly, there is no better guidepost to your great work than the feeling of envy or jealousy. When someone tells you their great news and you feel your stomach twist, and your mind is immediately battling it out between being happy for them, and so sad for you. This is a blinking neon arrow pointing directly towards something that you want for yourself. I had this experience lately when A friend of mine, Anita stuben, rock started an amazing new podcast called hyperactive imagination. I'll link to it in the show notes because it is a brilliant show. And she was texting me that she and another friend of ours, Melissa Monti, who is the host of the very successful podcast mine love. They were doing a podcast V collaboration. Melissa shared a neatest podcast on the mind love feed, and Anita was justifiably super excited about it. I was really excited for her. She has worked to create a podcast that is deeply moving, and it's just really well produced and yet, battling it out with that unmitigated excitement for my friend, I was also a little jealous. At first, I was really judgy about this with myself, what was wrong with me, I love to need his podcast. I've been on Melissa's podcast. I know that Melissa supports me and my work. And I certainly realized that Melissa supporting Anytus podcast has nothing to do with me. I was tempted to just judge myself harshly and move on. But I know that jealousy is a blinking neon sign from the universe. What was I missing? As I thought about it, I realized what I was really feeling that pull towards was collaboration. I've been by myself for years building a solopreneur coaching business, I sat alone and I wrote a book, I sit alone, and I create images and social media copy. And I want to do more with other amazing women entrepreneurs. So I reached out to Melissa, and we arranged to do a collaboration. Actually, that's happening right now in January, I created a vision course for her premium membership for her podcast, it's six videos and a beautiful workbook to take you through exercises to help you discover your great work. I've also reached out to other friends, and we're doing some events in February, March and April, called the lunch and series. And you know, I'll put links to all of these things in the show notes. But more to the point it was because I didn't just judge myself and move on, that I was able to co create these opportunities with these amazing women and get more of what I want in 2024. That's the kind of juice that you're looking for here. When do you find yourself twisting in jealousy? What is it pointing towards? Now I want you to look across these three questions and consider what emerges what emerges out of these stories out of these places where you feel alive, where you feel like you don't have an outlet for what for an important part of you for why you feel envious or jealous of other people. What could you pursue in 2023 that will get you into the flow of your great work. Believe what you see. And I hope that you will come to the event on January 17 At noon Eastern and tell me what you found so that we can get a plan together and you can create even deeper meaning and purpose and 2023.