This message is brought to you by the coronavirus, two and half weeks in.[Tuesday, March 31st, 6pm] I think the lesson from today can be summed up neatly with this two-word, oft stated phrase in the Crowell Home: F*ck it.
I’ve decided that for today Imma let go into the mess. Really relax into the chaos. Settle into the shit, and get comfy.
Here we go:
I spent my entire day on zoom, which was glitchy AF as the entire world suddenly logged into it (F-You, Zoom! YOUR internet is unstable!) “connecting” with clients (F-You social distancing! I want to hug my people!) and being emotionally available (F-You self control! I’m going to dip my OREOS in wine!) while also taking care of my kids (F-You color coded homeschooling schedule! One tap for the next 5 hours? SCREENS!) and trying to stay on top of the mountain of videos I’m creating for my classes (F-You youtube auto-translate! Why must it take 73 clicks to find you?!?).
And for good measure: F-YOU New York Times app of doom, Facebook panic button, and [SAY IT WITH ME]:
F-THE-H out of you, Coronavirus.
Fuck all that, is what I’m saying.Continue reading
Have you noticed how unprecedented all of this is? We’ve never had a global pandemic like this one, or a president like this one, and we’ve never been able to see into each other’s lives with the clarity the way that we can right now because of the internet. It’s all true, what we say: These are crazy, unprecedented, uncharted waters.
There’s a lot about this that feels familiar to me. We are still people, attracted to fear at 10x the force that we are attracted to light… and yet we yearn for proof of connection and compassion. We want to be seen and heard and loved… and sometimes, we want to be left alone. We want to feel agency, we want to feel important, and we want to contribute… while at the same time we want to let go, hide away and be left to our Netflix and Switch and novels. This “navigating equally matched competing forces” is one of the things that make us human, in my mind.
Being drawn by these competing forces within us usually leave us uncertain and unsure. What’s the “right” thing to do next? When we try to “get it right” and not be “too much of one or the other” we end up in a gross grey middle ground where we just worry and we don’t act:Continue reading
Sometimes we are smart enough to take a break and sometimes the universe knocks you down so hard that the only way to survive is to take a break.
Earlier this year I fell carrying my son to the hospital. When your 6 year old son is on his way to the hospital and you fall, it’s really only you who falls. He was (and is) fine. I, on the other hand, fell hard on my outstretched hand, spraining my elbow in 3 spots. And I was banged up kind of everywhere. But I kept going despite the pain. I worked in his hospital room, planning for a product launch that I executed. Despite that it was getting worse. Despite that it was starting to spread. At one point, every major joint in my body hurt at the same time… but I can handle it! I “had to” because I was in the middle of a self-imposed free call campaign. 100 calls in one month. Even though my coaching practice was full, and the timing was right to take a damn break.
In between calls, I would lie down to recover, my exhaustion was so extreme. I think that was my last chance to pull it together on my own. I didn’t and got sidelined.
I could’t walk, I couldn’t sleep, and I couldn’t work. Finally. I stopped working.
That was about 6 weeks ago. I’m feeling better. I’ve got help and I’m coming to grips with how overworking for the love it is almost as bad as burnout at the hands of other people’s expectations.
So, my friend I’m asking you- are you taking care of yourself? Are you ignoring the signs? Please don’t do it, it’s just not worth it. Let’s create a saner tomorrow, together.
You know how summer goes: In June you’re still wrapping up and recovering from the school year and in August you’ve turned your attention back to the classroom to ensure that you are ready to go when school starts up again…
But JULY. Oh, how I love July! Here are five reasons why July is the BEST time to recharge.
Those of us in the helping professions (therapy, coaching, education, nursing, social work, etc) are really, really good at taking care of others…. and really, really bad at taking care of ourselves. We give everything we have to our clients and if we aren’t careful, we can end up wrung out and miserable.
This has to stop. And the first step is the hardest.
This was originally published on Quartz under the title “Contemporary society is tired and stressed because we’ve abandoned two ancient traditions“
It’s exhausting trying to make it in the middle class. Like a lot of people, I work outside my full-time job in the gig economy. This means that in addition to being a college professor, I do small, one-off jobs like writing articles and providing professional development to teachers.
The appeal of the gig economy is its flexibility: you can work anytime, anywhere. But for me, this often means that I fall into the trap of working all the time, everywhere. And that makes me really, really tired.
Last year I published an article in Quartz arguing that teacher burnout is one of the biggest social justice issues of our time. I really meant it. If our passionate teachers continue to burn out and leave education, our most vulnerable kids will suffer, the opportunity and achievement gaps will widen, and the health of our economy will continue to erode.
But do you know who else is suffering from burnout? Therapists. And that’s at least as important; burnout is so painful when you are passionate about your work. It feels like a major betrayal to the part of you that loves your role as the caretaker.
You made it! For most people in the US, whether Christian, Jewish, Muslim or secular today and tomorrow are pretty major holidays. Plus it’s the weekend, so I think it’s safe to say that most of us are on break!
Opportunities to rest are so rare in our overbooked, overstimulated world that I hope you seize on this opportunity and really go for it.
Last weekend I discussed how important it is to take a BREAK when you need one. The message definitely resonated with lots of you, but some of you very fairly pointed out that you can’t always take a break when you need it.
I get that, but I think you might be defining “a break” too narrowly.
Taking a break can go lots of different ways.
I talk to a lot of entrepreneurs who are working to grow their business, usually because they are aren’t getting the results that they want. When I ask them what they think they need to do to make move the needle, I get one very common answer:
This doesn’t add up. The vast and overwhelming majority of these women are already working their asses off. The already HAVE hustle and commitment and drive.
So why aren’t things changing for them?