How To Get Unstuck By Calling In The Squad
I got a text message from a friend yesterday: “I saw my breath this morning. There’s no going back to sabbatical now!”
I replied, “I have unleashed 10 new Paper Mates into my pen bag. I’m ready for whatever happens.”
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Later that same day, I had a call with my “Lunch, And…” friends, Kristina Paider and Julie Ellis. I had one hour to write, but I was feeling overwhelmed and uncertain about which of two important and overdue projects should get this time.
I laid out my options, and Julie asked the simple question: “When will you have the time to do the other one? Which one is better to wait that long?”
My confusion lifted, and I was able to dive in.
And guess what? Both projects got done.
This is the squad in action. I don’t have to face the end of my sabbatical or my overwhelming workload all by myself.
I have people. And so do you.
Fall is the second most popular time for goal setting. There is something invigorating about the colder weather and proliferation of sharpened pencils, especially as it comes on the heels of summer when we might have gotten some actual downtime.
It’s GO time, and so we GO.
Suddenly even though we are busy rushing around, we realize that Great Work isn’t unfolding as we had hoped. Maybe we even feel a little bit stuck.
What do we do? Do we pull a January 15th maneuver and pretend we never made those resolutions? Or is there another way?
Stalled Out and Stuck? Been there.
Stalling out or feeling stuck can take a lot of forms.
Maybe we find ourselves overwhelmed with other tasks and the goal we set to get us closer to our Great Work has fallen by the wayside.
Maybe we’re DOING IT ALL, but we worry that our heads will spin off in the process. Rightly, we worry that this pace simply isn’t sustainable.
Or maybe, we are experiencing classic goalnesia, the phenomenon where you set a goal and immediately forget about it. Three weeks later someone says, “How is your book coming?” And you realize, with horror, that you’ve completely forgotten your commitment.
Whichever form, the answer to feeling stuck or stalled out, isn’t to hunker down, push through, or give up.
Instead, the answer is to calm down, reach out, and accept imperfection on the path to Great Work.
The squad will help with all three of those things.
Call In The Squad To Stay In the Game
The Squad, in the popular press, sometimes refers to a group of (mostly female) democrats in DC who share common values and operate as a brain trust and support group. Your squad should serve a similar purpose.
You should connect regularly (even if it’s just a quick text) with the members of your squad, to ensure everyone is keeping up with each other’s goals. This will allow you to provide knowledgeable and informed support when it’s needed and allows them to do the same for you.
Even though the members of your squad might not be actively involved in your work (ie, you aren’t collaborating), their support will still lighten your load and help you feel less alone.
So, who are you adding to your squad?
Think about the people in your world who will help you do great things without sacrificing your health and happiness. I don’t need any more people in my life whose version of motivation is “No pain, no gain!” or “You can sleep when you’re dead!” But I can’t have enough people in my life who remind me that Great Work flows from resilience, not hustle.
Think about people who want to do the same kind of great things that you want to do. Want to write a book? Surround yourself with writers! Want to build a successful business? Get yourself some aligned entrepreneurial friends!
(If your first thought was “Where do I find these people,” take a look below… I have ideas.)
And think about people who make you laugh, blow your mind with their insight, and care deeply without taking themselves too seriously. This is what I look for in a friend, and when I find someone like this, I’m never letting them go.
How To Get The Support You Need
Here are a few ideas to get things going with your fierce, powerful squad. Keep in mind, however, that it’s not about the details of how you get together or what you do… Instead, it’s about setting up regular, routine touchpoints.
Remember, it doesn’t have to be one, large, interconnected squad. I have a large squad, but not everybody knows each other. Some of them are 1:1 friends, others are colleagues in a writing group, and some meet with me and a few others in a small mastermind. I like having a variety of support.
Join groups. Seriously. I am a paying member of AJ Harper’s Sprints Writing Group, and I have been for years. It’s full of people actively writing and promoting their books, and I love it. We meet every workday at 9 am. I’ve heard they also meet at 4 pm, but I’m too busy in the afternoon to attend them. Join us if you want to write a book someday. (Note: I don’t get any kickbacks… it’s just that AJ is the VERY BEST writing coach, and Sprints is the VERY BEST writing group.)
Join a mastermind. Obviously, I think that the very best mastermind is the Great Work Community, and you are welcome to join us every Friday at 10 AM ET. It is life-changing to have a weekly touchpoint with people who believe that your Great Work is GREAT WORK. Plus, it’s only $47 a month.
Come to events with like-minded people. I do monthly workshops called the Great Work Series. The people who have been coming regularly describe it as a “burst of enthusiasm and positivity that carries them through the week.” Come to the next one, meet these people, and then form relationships outside of the event! They’re free.
One final piece of advice: Choosing your people wisely is the key to having a rich and diverse squad. You want people who you would support in everything they do, who inspire you with their Great Work, and whose advice you would take even if it doesn’t make sense at first.
This is a tall order, so getting these power players in place might take some time. Give people a chance, reach out with intention, and see how things unfold. Be mindful that not everyone is going to make the squad, and that’s OK, too.
Over time, you WILL pull together a group of people who will lift you up, inspire you to greatness, and give you the just-in-time support you need to do your Great Work.
And when you do, more than just your goals will benefit.
